Being a stay-at-home mom is SO hard. This is the first time for me to do it, and I'm not quite 2 weeks into it!! :) I applaud all women (and men!) who do it. Even after having Breeson I worked full time. Jamie was actually "Mr. Mom" when I went back to work because he was a part time student at that time. And after having Eagan the boys went to daycare after my maternity leave. I then started working part-time more consistently. It's not like being at home these last 2 weeks is the first time for me with the boys. It's just that knowing the end isn't really in sight. Whereas when I was on maternity leave, or extended vacation days, I knew when I'd go back to work, and where I'd go back to work. Both of those things are unsure right now. We know that I'll stay at home until we get fully settled into our new home. We hope/pray we close mid-May.
I've always told Jamie that I'm happy to become a full time stay-at-home mom when both of the boys are in school full time!! :)
In the meantime, we have our good days and our bad days. The hardest thing for me is keeping them occupied, as well as myself. I'm not the type to just sit around the house. So we try and find places to go. So far we've been to the rec center 2 times, library reading time (which they didn't end up having b/c it's spring break), park several times and lots of trips to the grocery store! Thank goodness for the weather being nice and warm. We enjoy our walks and it's healthy - in more ways than one - for us to get out.
I pray every day that the Lord gives me lots of patience, extra love, and contentment during this season. I'm sure one day I'll look back and be sad that I didn't enjoy it as much as I should. My boys do bring a lot of "joy" to my life and I'm thankful for them.
*side bar: as I'm writing this and saying how wonderful they are, I'm actually shooing them off so I can type this while telling them not to nag me right now. I'm such an awesome mother. insert sarcasm.
Sometimes I'll read other blogs or see "statuses" on FB about how some girls are just so thankful to be full time stay-at-home mothers and how blessed they are. They kinda make me want to cringe but at the same time feel guilty about how I don't desire that. I do have to be careful that I don't let Satan control me in this area and to not let him attack me with his lies. I realize that we're all gifted and desire different things. It seems like such a fine line of trying to learn to be content with where God puts us in different stages in our lives and also realizing that He did wire in me a certain way when He created me. So I do have an inner battle...
So this me just being open and honest about my feelings as a stay-at-home. Please know that I love my boys more than words can describe. But what I don't love is being bored at home with them and all of us getting on each others nerves 7 days a week. And I know that is an exaggeration. But this is my blog and my thoughts.
The end.
